The Mind of Sakeenah

I’ve never been a small girl, heck, I’ve never been a medium girl. As far back as I can remember, I’ve been overweight. I like to eat, it’s as simple as that.

Oh yes, I’ve also ran into the emotional eating, when I was lonely, when I was depressed, with the troubles of my marriage and divorce. I gained and gained over the years until I hit an all time high of 288 pounds!

A lot of people ask me, what made you change? What was it that finally got you to start losing weight? To be honest, I wanted a baby and I knew that if I were to get pregnant at that high of a weight, I would most likely suffer severe complications and I was already uncomfortable, imagine 30 more pounds!

One day I just started to feel this pressure on my chest. I couldn’t catch my breath to save my life. I made a doctors appointment because I had convinced myself that I was dying. When I stepped on the scale and saw 288, I couldn’t believe it, no longer could I deny that I was severly overweight. I could no long hide behind my height(I was always told, oh you’re so tall, you don’t look that big and I had started to believe it) I was headed towards diabetes and high blood pressure because they both run in my family. My doctor suggested that I lose weight and to be honest, I was embarrassed that day. I was given a treatment for asthma and I remember thinking, I wonder if the nurse is thinking, maybe if she stopped eating, she wouldn’t be having breathing problems.

I started riding my exercise bike that I had bought on one of my other failed attempts at losing weight. I only managed to lose 10 pounds in 4 months(my diet was still horrible) and because I wasn’t dedicated. Around that time, I had surgery to check for endometriosis and found that I had a small case.

I realize then, that I had to lose my weight once and for all. To make a long story short, losing weight is not easy and if anyone tells you that it is, then they are lying, but it is true what they say. If you workout, eat like you have sense and not stress too much, the weight will come off.

I’m a determined individual and I am determined to get to 174 pounds. That’s the high end for my height(5’10), but I’ve never wanted to be skinny, so that suits me just fine. I can’t believe it when I step on the scale and another pound is gone.

I still have my fat days, where I feel like I’ve lost nothing at all or I can look in the mirror and still see my 288 pound self, but I keep pushing on with determination towards good health and cute clothes..lol.

If you want to follow my journey, then grab your notebook, a electronic food scale and follow along. Since I can’t add pages within this section, I’ll be posting on my main page. Insha’Allah in time, you will have your own weight loss success!